Everyone’s always talking about going green right? Arrowhead just switched their water bottles to something more eco-friendly, my neighbors save their old coffee grinds – actually come to think of it I have no idea why – everyone’s doing their part for the environment and I’m sitting on my ass reading about a supposedly environmentally conscious California. Well shit, I’m the editor of an online magazine. I should be able to do something to help right? It occurs to me later as I’m wiping the smog off of my windowsill, I’m going to reduce emission – I’m going to ride public transportation.

Truth be told I’d always wanted to live in a city with a really good public transportation system. L.A. is always saying that we’ve got one of the best in the country. I’ve taken our subways before but I’ve always been a little afraid of the bus. But what the hell! I rode it when I visited San Francisco, I can ride it here. The challenge: to ride public transportation alone for one consecutive week.

Tuesday, 10:00am I drove to Rite Aid and bought a week’s Metro pass for $17 bucks. The man behind the counter tried to talk me out of it. He seemed to think I’d be getting ripped off at this point in the week. All weekly passes start on Sunday and go till Saturday as opposed to being valid for a full seven days. Likewise, the monthly passes always begin at the beginning of the month. I bought the thing and drove back to the office.

4:26pm Damn! I have to get to The Village tonight by six because I’m volunteering at a fund-raiser. I’m still not sure how to get there from my house. I rush home in the car.

4:45pm Arrived home and parked on the street (I don’t have a spot.) I change clothes, print a map from metro.net and start walking to Wilshire / Vermont station. I wave goodbye to my car and prepare for a hell of a week. It’s going to be interesting.

5:10 Drama already! I arrive at the station and rush to get on the train towards North Hollywood. Unfortunately, the train is stuck – it’s not receiving communications from the computer system. After waiting five minutes we are asked to exit the train and informed all Red Line trains will now be departing from the upper levels.

5:26 The train station is beginning to look like an airport – a glut of people sit next to walls and hand railings reading their books, listening to iPods and looking at their cellphones that don’t have any reception. I’m supposed to be at The Village by 6pm but was hoping to grab food around the corner with a friend at 5:30. It’s very clear that won’t be happening.

5:28 I’m beginning to wish I took the car but it’s because of you dear reader that I stand here. I’ve made you a pledge and I hate you for holding me to it.

5:29 I remember how my friend Doug in San Francisco met his boy friend on a bus. I’ve spotted a cute guy with brown hair and subtle highlights in a green t-shirt and jeans wearing a greay hoody. Next to him is a cute emo kid in a brown and black hoody – too young for my taste but still cute.

5:31 There is another announcement about delayed service. A man behind me says, “who’s idea was this?” It seems they aren’t accustomed to taking public transportation either. I’m going to be so late.

5:35 The train rolls in. There is a rush for the door and people won’t let the door close. We’re crammed like sardines and then when the doors start closing some punk kid throw the emergency door release so that he and his friends can try to squeeze on the train. The people on the train are very unhappy about this and start yelling at the kids who continue to shove their way on. The conductor’s voice tells them to wait and to switch the level back to its normal position. The kids squeeze on and fix the door.

5:39 The train stops and we all fall onto each other. When it starts we fall in the other direction. A women starts getting nervous and loudly shares her concerns for our safety.

Will I make it to The Village on time? Will we all suffocate and die? What happens when I finally have to ride the bus? Did I wind up groping the guy in the green shirt when we were all standing so close? Stay tuned for our next installment of “He’s Gone Metro.”

Tags:Metro

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Matt Falber is the Editor-in-Chief of Real Gay L.A. Matt was formerly an editorial assistant at Frontiers Magazine. He served as a regular contributing writer for Frontiers for two years and also wrote for IN Los Angeles, its sister publication. Matt has a flare for the arts and when we don't have him chained to his desk, he can be seen singing and acting in various L.A. venues.
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