“I Could Never Live Here”

By Jarred Black • Posted: December 30th, 2007

I was at Mario Diaz’s last Hotdog party when I heard it. Sweaty, sexy guys dancing and drinking all around and yet — a few people weren’t having fun. “I’m over it. I could never live here.” It wasn’t the first time I’d heard it. The words out of the boyishly cute New Yorker’s mouth had once come out of my mouth (before I’d visited the City of Angels a few times). Another guy also a former New Yorker, told me he missed NYC too and he’s been having trouble finding friends in L.A. Again, I get it. Real Gay L.A. was actually founded based on comments similar to these. Back in March I witnessed a hissy fit — this guy essentially told me and a bunch of other people that the whole city was full of pretentious, selfish, one-dimensional people and that he was moving because there was nothing here for him. As someone who used to live in Las Vegas, I found this ironic. I moved to Los Angeles because I felt people were less pretentious, less self involved and less one-dimensional. Think about it. Los Angeles is home to some of the world’s most creative people — surely they aren’t one dimensional. Los Angeles, like New York has always been at the forefront of the gay equality movement. As for pretentious, you always find people like that — the trick is being able to spot them and see them for what they are. I’m not going to say they don’t exist here but I will say that with nearly ten million people in Los Angeles county, you do have options.

It’s funny that he should say what he said on a night when I was thinking quite the opposite. I had just returned from visiting my family in a small town in the Midwest. It was cold, the people were stuck in a time warp and there was nothing going on in town. It seemed as though the small community had sent me a welcoming committee as I sat on the airplane. A man in his mid-fifties told me how much he loved California because we have Disneyland. He then shared with me his latest book selection titled, Money on Loan from God — a primer on investing without supporting companies who have financial ties to abortion, pornography and the gay agenda. I was ecstatic. During Christmas Eve, friends of our family talked about what a wonderful president Mike Huckabee, the radical conservative, would be. I had to pinch myself to be sure all of this was actually happening. We also spent a significant amount of time one day discussing what we might do for fun the next day… “no that place closed.” I couldn’t imagine I had once lived here. All I kept thinking of was the pastor that wanted to send me to a Christian reparative therapy program to cure my homosexuality and school dances were I’d been pressured by friends and teachers to dance with so and so.

So I was beside myself when I stepped of the plane and found myself back in Los Angeles, the city I’ve truly been happier in than any other place I’ve ever lived. As someone who reads and writes about this city, I know I will never know all of it’s secrets. There will always be some new place to go, some new thing to do, and some new person to meet. At the same time, I’ve made amazing friends here. I feel that Los Angeles offers you whatever you want out of life. You just have to decide what you want. If you want to club hop and fuck your brains out — you can. If you want to settle down with the right person, you can. If you want to be a political activist, you can. Whether you want to pursue your acting dreams, see a play or watch a movie with the director, you can. If you want to curate one of the nations finest museums, you can. And if you want to start a website to bring together all sorts of people in the gay community, you can — and so we have. We’re determined to make this giant metropolis a little bit smaller.

So this New Year, while everyone is making promises, Real Gay L.A. is promising to find each and every one of you who feels like you’ve not found your community in this amazing city — and help you to find it. We’re going to be starting our Real Gay Outing program this year where we’ll get people together to go to movies, clubs, and other events. Be sure to join the mailing list if you’re interested. We’ll also be introducing the first gay dating website just for Angelenos. Now all of you daters that are looking to do more than hookup, will have a place to find potential mates. I’d like to wish all of you a happy new year. Keep it Real.

Tags:, gay, hotdog, los angeles, mario diaz, Mike Huckabee, Money on Loan from God